Learning Curve

It's been almost two weeks since I sat crying and convicted after learning some difficult truths through the documentary "Vegucated," and I'm happy to report that I'm still a vegetarian.

Well, almost.

The resources available through social media, the interweb, and yes, the library, mean that I have all the information I could ever desire on going vegetarian, right at my hungry fingertips.  But the plethora of information causes me to stumble back, overwhelmed, a bit timid to fully jump into getting vegucated myself.  I'm afraid I might drown.  So I've dipped a toe or two into some websites, thrown out a question here and there on Facebook, and ordered a couple of magazines on how to get started on the road to eating more compassionately and getting healthier.

Most of my research so far, though, has been within myself.  I'm thinking a lot about the recipes I usually make, and if meat is part of why I like them.  I have courageously started to think about what I might miss- not about meat in general, but about specific dishes.  I have a killer healthy recipe for baked sweet and sour chicken that my whole family devours.  It's so good that it's actually worth the almost hour and a half it takes to prepare.  And then there's burgers.  When I go out to eat, which is not very much, I just crrrrrave a good burger.  A burger and fries.  And the blissful burger-fries-shake combo.  It's not often that I do that, but for the special occasions when I do...I'm going to miss that.

No doubt there are eager veggie readers who are saying out loud as you read this, "oh, just roast cauliflower instead of the chicken and use the same sweet and sour sauce!" or, "you can still have the fries and shake, and even the burger- just make it a veggie burger!"  I know, I know.  There are meat substitutes of every imaginable kind.  There are modifications to any recipe.  You can make any favorite dish by just altering a couple of ingredients.  I get it.  But you know what?  It still won't be the same.  I am certain that there will be times where I just want that one certain thing.

But then I revisit the reasons that have led me to sacrifice those certain things, and still feels like the very right thing to do.  Will I have the occasional burger?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I'll just have to see.

Learning how to go vegetarian (and especially vegan, which I'm not, for now) takes time.  I prepare all of the meals in our household, and I'm often cooking for six under our roof.  I'm a coupon-er, a meal planner, and very meticulous about my battle plan for groceries and cooking.  It takes a lot of time.  And now I'm adding in this whole new component of vegetarian.  Do I just make what I normally would and make my food different by omitting meat or using a meat substitute?  Do I alter everyone's meals?  Do I research a whole new batch of go-to's?  I'm still figuring it all out.

So far, I haven't been courageous enough to try out the "real" vegetarian foods like tofu, tempeh, lentils, flax seed, and crazy making like that.  (I am apparently justified in calling these foods crazy, as my spellcheck doesn't even think "tempeh" or "quinoa" are real words. So.)  Oh, no, wait- I did try quinoa, with fairly good results- more on that later.  I did my research about tofu and bought a package, and it sits in the sandwich drawer of my fridge.  I checked the expiration date so I know what day I must be brave by.  You can expect a tofu-themed blog on December 16th, and no sooner.

Basically I'm making meals I'm familiar with but without the meat, and being creative with the recipe.  We had soft shell tacos, for example, and instead of taco meat, (and instead of gathering my courage for veggie crumbles), I blended taco seasoning in with plain Greek yogurt (which we use instead of sour cream).  Success.  I'm also finding that a lot of "comfort" winter-y foods are vegetarian, and was excited to try one out: a tortellini soup. 

"What's in this?" Michael asked between slurps.
"It's soooo simple, and so tasty," I say.  "Jarred spaghetti sauce, chicken broth, and cream cheese.  And pre-packaged pesto tortellini."
"Chicken broth?!"
"Yep!  I know it sounds weird, but hey, it's tasty-"
"Chicken broth?""
"Um...."
"Doesn't chicken broth come from....chickens?"
(Hence my comment about being almost vegetarian this week.  Whoops.)

And then I cried, and puttered around the kitchen for something else to eat.  Seriously, how could I have made such an obvious mistake?  I wasn't upset about having eaten it the night before and "ruining" my record for going without meat- okay, maybe I was, just a little- but I was more upset knowing that I do need to sit down at some point and figure this stuff out. I'm eating too much dairy- vegan or no vegan- I know that.  And my sodium intake is probably off the charts.  I wanted to start by focusing on what I could still eat, to stay positive; so that has included salt and vinegar almonds, popcorn, a lot of cheese, yogurt, and some more cheese.  At some point I need to be exploring those legumes and tempeh.

I will, however, proudly shout from any dining room tabletop that I have increased my fruit and veggie intake from two servings a day (ahem- yes, I know) to five to seven a day.  So that's awesome.  I knew I was doing something right last week when I was grocery shopping and, after having walked away from my cart, returned to it and had to do a double take.  I wasn't sure it was mine at first.  But it was, in all of its rainbow glory, filled with good things for my body to ingest.

Another sign that I'm doing okay is that this week, my kids, including picky picky picky picky picky (did I mention picky?) eater Oliver, have been requesting fruit in between meals.  They even sneak it, thinking they're being mischievous.  Charlie drags around a container of baby tomatoes all around the house and today I found him sneaking a bunch of grapes, looking like he got caught in the cookie jar when I found him.  Oliver asked me for grapes the other day and I said, "um, we don't have any in the house today."  "Okay," he said, "Can I have an orange then?" And yesterday, he actually asked if he could "pleeeeeease" have a banana, then cheered like he won the state lottery when I gave him one.

"That's because of you, " Michael said, "you did that. "

And then my eyes welled up again.  This time,  I did something right.

This, my friends, is good.  This has happened in less than two weeks.  I can do this for my kids.  I can do this for me.  I'm ready to learn more.